GROW Through What You GOThrough

Sometimes I feel like I’ve almost been through it ALL. I know what it’s like to have no job, to be broke, to barely have enough financially, to be mistreated and abused, to feel discouraged, to be depressed, to feel separated from God, and to feel confused and stagnant in life. Now I’m able to say that I have learned so much and that ultimately those experiences shaped me into such a seasoned, wise, and powerful person, but I definitely was NOT saying that when I was going through. When I was going through, I wasn’t trying to hear anything about growing, ‘looking on the bright side’, or being patient. I was angry, hurt, afraid, and trying to figure out ‘why’. I felt like life was just a series of hard times, one after the other, with little to no rest in between. I wondered when I was going to get a break. Now, at this point in my life, I’m still faced with tough times–but my perspective has almost totally changed. Now, I grow through what I go through, and it has completely altered the way I feel about tough times–making them much easier to bear.

I want to share with you 3 things that helped me get to this place. I’m positive they can help you get there too.

Step back and talk to someone who’s way more clear headed than you

Even with the best of our efforts, it still is more likely than not that we are not thinking clearly as we would if we were out of the situation. Identify someone in your life who you can vent to when you’re going through tough times.  Let this person be someone who knows you well, has some good sense (c’mon somebody), knows how to encourage you, and will tell you the truth in love. This person can see your situation from the outside in, not being blinded by the very personal experience of emotions that may be blocking your view. Sometimes, things look much worse to us than they are, because we are not feeling well about the experience. Sometimes a solution to a problem is right in front of us, but we are just too close to the situation to see it. If you don’t have someone close to you who you can go to (and even if you do), a counselor or therapist is an incredibly valuable resource. Don’t be fooled by the stigma around mental health (‘that’s lame’, ‘they don’t do nothing anyway’, or the infamous ‘what I look like??’); most people who down play or deride therapy have never actually given it a chance. Most of us who have, know that it feels amazing, is really effective, and works wonders.

Remember what happened last time (and that time before that, and the time before that)

Instead of being so focused on the fears that you have about the situation, just remind yourself of everything you’ve already been through–because here you are on the other side! What this tells me is that it is way more likely that you’re gonna make it through this experience than not. In fact, it will probably be another thing you laugh about when you remember how stressed you were about something that just ended up working out anyway. God’s good–if He did it before, He can do it again.

Getcha mind right

When we’re going through things our minds are usually a mess. To grow through what you go through, it’s imperative that you get your mind together. If not, instead of fighting to eventually come out better than before, you’re more likely to become consumed by your circumstances and find yourself stagnant. Even worse, depression may try to creep up on you and amplify the negative emotional experience of the situation. To grow through what you go through you must train your mind to identify what a situation can teach you about yourself and about how to navigate life in a smarter, wiser, and better way. There is always something there; it’s like the adage says, ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’.  It usually never feels good, but the rain comes to spur growth. When you tease out where the potential for growth is in your circumstances, it can give you a sense of clarity, focus, and much needed wisdom.

Comment below an experience that really taught you something, despite how hard it was to get through it. What did you learn? How have you grown? What would you tell someone else going through what you went through?

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