Why you're still struggling with (consistent) self-care... [CYCLE BREAKERS]

Don’t get me wrong, I love how popular ‘self care’ has become.

Endless tweetables and pretty quote visuals on Instagram and Pinterest about hashtag-self-care.

To me, a problem has also been created very akin to the boom in popularity that mental health has received: sensationalistic popularity without proper understanding or context to execute longterm.

Does this mean people should stop posting about self care or mental health awareness?

Obviously (and absolutely) not.

It does imply, though, that the way we talk about these things is lacking some depth, realism, and context that could be resulting in the authenticity and impact of the message depreciating in effect.

This kind of result can lead to tons of people excited and talking about a particular subject/topic…all while truly making no real, sustainable, and consistent progress in that area offline.

Lot’s of excitement…less breakthrough and transformation–that’s not really ideal, is it?

I recently made a YouTube video chatting with the little community we’re growing over there (yay!) about this topic (feel free to subscribe and join us): why so many are still struggling with self care despite the hype.

If you’re interested, I’ll share my first point from the video with you, and you can go check out the rest at your leisure.

You probably have a misconception or a faulty view about self care, what it is, and how it’s done. Sensationalistic branding of self care, especially on social media, may have caused this. Self care is branded as extracurricular treats and pampering filled with things like bubble baths and massages that you’re motivated to do to please yourself in a cathartic way. The problem is that self care is certainly that–but not only, or even mainly, that. When we view self care as mainly an additional treating or pampering of the self, the way we actually treat the self as whole, consistently, can really suffer in terms of how we value things like maintenance and upkeep. When we view self care as mainly something that should feel good and cathartic or pleasurable, eliciting feelings of release and relief, then we can really begin to devalue those crucial day to day things that, again, contribute to good health, maintenance, and upkeep. Self care is a daily, integral practice including the basics and extras of what keeps us well, whole, and healthy that may or may not feel good or begin with the desire to complete. You see, self care can include privileged things like spa days and massages and candle lit baths, but it usually includes basic but imperative, daily things like brushing your teeth, cleansing your skin and body, mental fitness, keeping your space clean, nourishing the emotions and the spirit, and acknowledging/regulating stress. When we separate literal daily caring of the self from the idea of self care, dangerous things can result (for example, a mismanagement of priorities by allowing the fundamental care of self to suffer while chasing or only prioritizing extravagant or additional means to pleasure the self). To those in mental health recovery or battling extenuating life circumstances, this can make working toward or more consistent and healthy care-taking of the self even more difficult than it already is.

xo, Coach Marie