Fear.

I used to be so afraid of everything. Scared to speak up, scared to speak out. Scared to be publicly brilliant, scared of being too cute or too noticeable. Scared of what people thought of me, scared of what people said about me in their minds and behind closed doors. And honestly, hand to God, one day I just got so freaking tired of being so freaking afraid. But I was still afraid.

Fear is the most effective paralysis that I know of. Fear kept me stagnant for years. Not living my dreams, not enjoying fulfillment in friendships, & not advocating for my well being or my safety.

Everyone’s answer was to give it to God. All of my mentors and all of the church folk-even some friends.

But what happens when you’re so afraid that you can’t even do that?

Your fear chokes and scares you so much, that you’re not even comfortable truly leaving it in the hands of the God who knows all, sees all, and loves you dearly? I couldn’t even let God have my fear, it was too precious to me–it kept me safe...

There is a quote & a question that, when used together, blew my mind with its ability to facilitate freedom & change:

“Feel the fear…and do it anyway.” This quote can change your life-it changed mine. Too scared to speak your mind? Just blurt out the first word real loud so that everyone hears and looks before you have the chance to try and take it all back. Scared to dump a loser who’s been making you feel like you’re the trash stinking up the relationship?  Type everything you wish you had the guts to say and then press send super fast one day before you give your brain a chance to think itself out of it. Don’t allow fear to paralyze and stagnate you! Recognize the feeling of fear, fight it (the most powerful way is with the word of God), and do what you need to do anyway.

This question that I was referring to earlier has had such a huge impact on me, and the best part is I’m sure you’ve heard this one already too: “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”.

If you just think through the process of the answer to that question for whatever your situation is, you will most likely realize that you have been intimidated by fear--and some stuff snuck in there that you're not even sure you're that against at the end of the day. That’s because when we’re generally afraid of something we hype it up in our minds.

We turn a stray cat into a mountain lion with 6 inch claws and mange dripping from it jaws instead of the nervous, flighty threat that it might actually be!

Wanna have some fun? Right now, if any of these situation-prompts reasonate with you, say the declaration that follows to yourself. (bonus points if you get corny/serious enough to say it out loud)

-They might believe the lie about me!

Whoever knows me knows my character, so they'd at least be confused/surprised.. If they care truly for me, they'll probably reach out. If they don't..........why am I concerned again that I might never hear about the fact that someone who likely doesn't care for me truly anyway believes that I did or said some thing that I wouldn't or didn't? ....You know what--I can handle it.

-She might not want to be my friend anymore!

I can handle it.

-We might break up and never speak again!

Not so bad, she's/he’s kind of a jerk. I can handle it.

-Everyone will think I think I’m all that!

I can handle it--I kinda am, in God, what’s their problem?

-I might lose this job and look like a failure!

Unless this is where I want to retire, I'll be leaving at some point anyway..Hmmm...truthfully, I'm not a failure though I am concerned I don't know fully what's best with some pieces of this work...if I mess this up it's liable to humble my reputation here...but if their willing to fire me over it then honestly I'll be fired cause I still don't know what to do. I've lost jobs before, and I've quit jobs before...a lot of it sucked but I did make it and bounce back. If worse comes to worse, I know I will be okay even if uncomfortable or as I'm navigating a serious situation...I can handle it. I can handle today, today.

Listen, I’m making light of some things, but in all honesty: it’s true that a lot of times we’re more afraid of all the what if’s and the hypotheticals that we create in our minds than we are of the actual most plausible outcome of the situation that might take place. Usually, we will recover if he or she or they walk away, if this relationship doesn’t work out, if nobody likes our ideas.

Talk to God about it & get fearless about what’s holding you back--even if you still feel afraid.

Aren’t you worth it?

Marie