The Motive of the Heart...

Why do you do what you do?

What (or who) are you really doing what you’re doing for?

What drives and compels you in your everyday life?

What drives and compels you when you think about your future?

What is the true, foundational motive of your heart…

Earlier in this month the Lord really drew my heart again as it relates to the motive of the heart. I was reminded that He is so grieved by this surplus of so many people these days having driving motives of selfish gain–the dangerous focus of me, me, me, self, self, self. An endless cycle of ‘what’s in it for ME’.

Now I understand how difficult it can be in society today to have motivation and ambition that isn’t rooted in self, because everywhere you look it’s all about self. Media of all forms push a narrative, sometimes in the form of ‘revelatory self improvement’ (that aha moment), that you have to ‘finally’ choose to be selfish in order to achieve your dreams, stop being hurt, or be successful.

This kind of influence and messaging inspires many to concentrate most fundamentally on what will make them feel good and bring them happiness. Don’t get me wrong: it is okay to have a focus on what will make you feel good, make you happier, and help you achieve your dreams, but notice in the other scenario I said that it became a fundamental focus, a foundational motive of the heart, the truest most important ‘why’ for many people–and this is not good.

Selfish gain being the root ‘why’ for a person (being their truest, most foundational motive of the heart) is like a poison–it corrupts because of its selfish nature. I hope for you that you don’t believe the lie that you have to be selfish and self-centered in order to achieve better in life, or receive what God has for you, or grow, or whatever your goals are. I hope you also begin to realize that selfishness is not the same thing as utilizing wisdom to draw boundaries and develop a pattern of self respect and self appreciation in your life.

The former is not God’s will for you and will not serve you well in the long run. The latter is God’s will for you and will serve you beautifully in the long run–especially in terms of maintaining your growth and blessings.

Words matter, and they have meanings. I see a lot of people subscribing to the click bait and attraction of trends and saying things like: ‘it’s time’ for you to be selfish, or you’ve gotta be selfish ‘in order to grow and be respected’ or it’s ‘finally your time’ to be selfish (like it’s an honor). If you were to ask many of them what they really meant, context, more information, and more conversation would reveal what they’re really speaking about is the process of finally respecting oneself enough to set the right boundaries and say no (to stuff that it would not be selfish to say no to–it would finally be the wise, smart, and often Godly thing to do). 

Usually these are things that needed to be done quite some time ago, but people-pleasing and other nefarious dysfunctional patterns got in the way. See, this is all so important that we say what we mean and not just utter anything, because it sounds cute and is trendy. The bible tells us that the power of life and death is in the tongue, and that we can decree a thing and it be established.

I wonder at the danger of beginning to believe and speak over yourself that you are ‘selfish’ and have to be selfish now to move forward and stop enduring hurts you once endured. I wonder if that might lead to you truly developing selfish tendencies, a selfish attitude, and a self centered heart. I wonder if pride and haughtiness is beginning to find a place in your heart where it can take root and begin to grow.

Another danger connected to whether or not the foundational motive of our hearts is rooted in selfishness or selfish gain is the ultimate one–the spiritual one. God is not pleased with this kind of fundamental foundation of selfishness. He desires for us to seek His will above our own, to care about serving others and looking out for others, and to be humble. He wants us to seek His glory and not make ourselves our own Gods by excluding Him or acting like he can just tag along and bless us while we do our own thing for ourselves. God cares about us all.

The danger of selfishness being the foundational motive of the heart is also, very importantly, that it is not rooted in humility but pride and arrogance. We easily displace God as the head of our lives this way, exalt ourselves, and can begin to take on His role while pushing Him somewhere to the side like a friend or consult. God is your friend, but He is not just your friend—He is GOD. Why should we treat Him like a friend only, who maybe gets a say and we’ll think about the suggestions? (He is our Friend the bible says, annnnnnnddd He is ALMIGHTY God). It is crazy to me that in His mercy and grace He even allows what is honestly such disrespect; but I have been guilty of it as well, and so I am grateful and humbled by His love.

As we hopefully know, money is not the root of all evil–the bible says the love of it is, and there are so many people in our society today that love money so much that it is the true motivator of their heart–even as they call God their God. For others, it is popularity, notoriety, and fame that are the true motivators of their heart and the reason why they do what they do. For others, it’s love in the form of romance and platonic friendships. For others, it is a lust for power and control.

I want you to reflect and think about what your ‘why’ is. If it’s not Jesus, I encourage you to repent and ask God to help you to understand the deception in making these other things your foundational motivation–they will always fail you, and there will never be enough. That is the deception of worldliness–there is never enough, there is never true fulfillment, and it cannot provide the peace and security you’re secretly looking for in it. Only God can do that.

Xoxo,

MARIE